Okay so today "She-rah" isn't feeling so powerful. I'm totally pissed today. I've launched my line and it's not going so well. I've got a great product and no way to market. THANKS TO CORPORATE AMERICA. Dang on lay off! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm usually optimistic but man this is hard. I'm so not sure what to do. I DESPISE the idea of having to go back to Corp. America but man. Even if I decided to there are no "good" jobs out there right now. Whatever that is! I'm trying to hold it all together and trying not to fall apart at the seams but man o' man is this thing hard. I don't want to disappoint my son. AGAIN. Heck, I don't want to disappoint myself for that matter. But what's a girl to do? I mean heck, I can only do so much. I've always been a hard worker. I'm very optimistic and ambitious but this darn recession is tearing me into small bit sized pieces. I want to be free, on my own, making a good living for us. I don't want to put my trust into another corporation again. It's been proven when its to saving families or saving yachts...well we know the rest.
And I just don't know if I have it in me to go on. In that world I mean. I've fought the good fight, ran with the big dogs, fought traffic, met deadlines, met commitments and STILL I'm here. About to burst at the seams.
My son counts on me to get it right. He trust that I know what I'm doing. But truth is, half the time I don't. I don't have a clue. Starting a business...no clue what I'm doing. Looking for a job...no clue. How we will make it....no clue. How to stay sane, again, no clue!
Whats a girl to do?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Free
I'm not sure of how many of us are affected by this recession but from the looks of it, I'm not alone. What I'm wondering is what everyone else is doing with during this time? Downsizing, job hunting, cutting back, laying awake with worry at night etc.? As I've stated before I'm taking this opportunity to prosper in my own business. Reaching for what it is I really want out of life. I'd like to encourage you all to do the same. No matter if you've been laid off or not. Take this time to reevaluate your life. Consider what really makes you happy. Think to yourself, if I had my way what would I be doing with my life? If I had my ideal or dream situation, how would I earn my living? Winning the lottery doesn't count. :-)
You know, I'm really ashamed to say it but had it not been for the layoff I wouldn't have the courage to push myself to do what it is I really want to do with my life. I'd still be in my cube daydreaming about the "what ifs?" and wishing I could.....
I sit back sometimes and wonder where I lost sight of myself and who and what I truly am. I can't pen point the exact date but it was somewhere between the birth of my son and the first day care bill. "Hello" first job that comes my way "goodbye" pipedreams!
Fear drove my dependency on Corporate America. Fear of not being able to provide food, shelter, clothing, etc. I did exactly what I was conditioned to do, the same thing my parents did for me. Put my dreams aside. Put on a facade and pretended to be something that I'm not. AVERAGE. I pretended to be just your everyday working woman taking care of her kid and living paycheck to paycheck. My life as I once knew it was over. Or at least on hold until I got my kid off to college. SCREEECH! Hold up! Wtfudge?! Sounds more like dying than living! Who told me I couldn't have it all. Who said I had to sit my dreams aside and focus on raising my son? Who made these rules?! Certainly not me! Cause if I'd have written the handbook on motherhood the first rule right after no sweets after 7pm would be, YOU MUST DO AND HAVE IT ALL!
You must tend to yourself first, continue pursuing yours dreams (after all isn't the idea to lead by example?), never lose sight of who you are and so on and so on. Anything else would make motherhood a complete bore. At least in my opinion it would. I don't want to look up 10 years from now(when my son is off to college) and START living again. I want to live NOW. With my son in tow. Bright eyed and experiencing every waking moment.
So what if my business fails, at least he'll have seen me start it. There's no sense in telling our children the same old tale that I was told which is "you can be anything you want to be" ('cept if you have children then you must give it all up and put your dreams aside and live miserably ever after...the end) No way, we gotta show them they truly can reach for the stars by reaching for them ourselves. Anyone with me?
Don't get me wrong. I love my son. But am I so wrong for wanting my dreams to come true as well as his? I push, struggle and fight for the BOTH of us to succeed. Is something so wrong with that? Hmph, I think not.
I'm happy I'm finally getting it. I no longer accept my life sentence of 'death by way of the cubicle' is the only way to support my family and live happy productive lives. I think I've got enough gifts/talents instilled in me to supply all that we need to survive. AND THEN SOME!
Right now my heart is singing. Even through the financial downtime (which is what I like to call it). How many out there know that what goes up, comes down and goes right back up again? So this part is only temporary. I'm just excited about the possibilities. Happy to be out of "Corporate Lock Down".
Sure my finances are taking a hit. Which was gonna happen sooner or later. The way I see it, there was never gonna be a "right" time for me to step out and pursue what really makes me happy. Bills are gonna always come, cost of living will always increase, healthcare will always be needed and so on and so on. If I were gonna pursue my dreams I was going to have to sacrifice sometime or another. If not,the mind trapping mentality of being stable in Corporate America would have forever had me bound had it not been for the lay off. I would still be giving up the majority of my life for a paycheck. Not a fair trade if you ask me.
So, I'm taking this time to do what makes me happy. My son will witness life being lived to the fullest extent. He too will be a risk taker, a go getter, a faith walker, out of the boxing thinking individual who'd rather die trying than die never having tried at all.
Anyone with us?!!!!!
You know, I'm really ashamed to say it but had it not been for the layoff I wouldn't have the courage to push myself to do what it is I really want to do with my life. I'd still be in my cube daydreaming about the "what ifs?" and wishing I could.....
I sit back sometimes and wonder where I lost sight of myself and who and what I truly am. I can't pen point the exact date but it was somewhere between the birth of my son and the first day care bill. "Hello" first job that comes my way "goodbye" pipedreams!
Fear drove my dependency on Corporate America. Fear of not being able to provide food, shelter, clothing, etc. I did exactly what I was conditioned to do, the same thing my parents did for me. Put my dreams aside. Put on a facade and pretended to be something that I'm not. AVERAGE. I pretended to be just your everyday working woman taking care of her kid and living paycheck to paycheck. My life as I once knew it was over. Or at least on hold until I got my kid off to college. SCREEECH! Hold up! Wtfudge?! Sounds more like dying than living! Who told me I couldn't have it all. Who said I had to sit my dreams aside and focus on raising my son? Who made these rules?! Certainly not me! Cause if I'd have written the handbook on motherhood the first rule right after no sweets after 7pm would be, YOU MUST DO AND HAVE IT ALL!
You must tend to yourself first, continue pursuing yours dreams (after all isn't the idea to lead by example?), never lose sight of who you are and so on and so on. Anything else would make motherhood a complete bore. At least in my opinion it would. I don't want to look up 10 years from now(when my son is off to college) and START living again. I want to live NOW. With my son in tow. Bright eyed and experiencing every waking moment.
So what if my business fails, at least he'll have seen me start it. There's no sense in telling our children the same old tale that I was told which is "you can be anything you want to be" ('cept if you have children then you must give it all up and put your dreams aside and live miserably ever after...the end) No way, we gotta show them they truly can reach for the stars by reaching for them ourselves. Anyone with me?
Don't get me wrong. I love my son. But am I so wrong for wanting my dreams to come true as well as his? I push, struggle and fight for the BOTH of us to succeed. Is something so wrong with that? Hmph, I think not.
I'm happy I'm finally getting it. I no longer accept my life sentence of 'death by way of the cubicle' is the only way to support my family and live happy productive lives. I think I've got enough gifts/talents instilled in me to supply all that we need to survive. AND THEN SOME!
Right now my heart is singing. Even through the financial downtime (which is what I like to call it). How many out there know that what goes up, comes down and goes right back up again? So this part is only temporary. I'm just excited about the possibilities. Happy to be out of "Corporate Lock Down".
Sure my finances are taking a hit. Which was gonna happen sooner or later. The way I see it, there was never gonna be a "right" time for me to step out and pursue what really makes me happy. Bills are gonna always come, cost of living will always increase, healthcare will always be needed and so on and so on. If I were gonna pursue my dreams I was going to have to sacrifice sometime or another. If not,the mind trapping mentality of being stable in Corporate America would have forever had me bound had it not been for the lay off. I would still be giving up the majority of my life for a paycheck. Not a fair trade if you ask me.
So, I'm taking this time to do what makes me happy. My son will witness life being lived to the fullest extent. He too will be a risk taker, a go getter, a faith walker, out of the boxing thinking individual who'd rather die trying than die never having tried at all.
Anyone with us?!!!!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
12 Smileys
They say the best things in life are free and I truly believe that. My son came home from school today with 12 smileys on his daily report. For us that's a big deal. And for it to have happened 2 days in a row is an even bigger deal!
He's got a few difficulties he faces and for him to have a perfect day speaks volumes. Just when my day was full of frustration a "smiley" turned it all around.
One may question why this info. was even considered blog worthy and all I can say is "in due time" my fellow readers.
As I've stated before, I have big plans for this blog and all of which I've written thus far plays a huge role in the future content to come.
As you continue to follow me along this journey I'm sure there will be something here that you yourself or someone you know can take away from. Just you wait and see!
I believe that every ounce of what I experience in life can be recycled and used by someone. I'm talking 'bout wisdom yall. I've gained all that I have in order for me to turn around and pass it on to someone new. A perfect day with 12 "smileys" included!
Until next time... "smileys" to you all!
He's got a few difficulties he faces and for him to have a perfect day speaks volumes. Just when my day was full of frustration a "smiley" turned it all around.
One may question why this info. was even considered blog worthy and all I can say is "in due time" my fellow readers.
As I've stated before, I have big plans for this blog and all of which I've written thus far plays a huge role in the future content to come.
As you continue to follow me along this journey I'm sure there will be something here that you yourself or someone you know can take away from. Just you wait and see!
I believe that every ounce of what I experience in life can be recycled and used by someone. I'm talking 'bout wisdom yall. I've gained all that I have in order for me to turn around and pass it on to someone new. A perfect day with 12 "smileys" included!
Until next time... "smileys" to you all!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Alas!
My tee shirt line is finally ready.
Well almost. :-) finishing the site now. I'm so excited. THIS IS TRULY A DREAM COME TRUE. This venture has been 5 years in the making. Now 250 designs later I'm finally making it happen. Thank God!
I'm excited to share them with you all. I can't wait til the sites finished. I have shirts for kids, women, and men. My collection is call "The Shirt off Ma Back" and all of my messaging is 100% percent transferrable from my back to yours. The collection stands apart from most of the quoted/graphic tees that we buy due to the messaging is meant to make a clear statement. Using inspiration from music, politics, humor, motivation, inspiration etc. I know I truly have something for everyone. Check'em out below. Let me know what ya think!
Accent Marq Designs
Ambition, Motivation and Determination at its finest!
Well almost. :-) finishing the site now. I'm so excited. THIS IS TRULY A DREAM COME TRUE. This venture has been 5 years in the making. Now 250 designs later I'm finally making it happen. Thank God!
I'm excited to share them with you all. I can't wait til the sites finished. I have shirts for kids, women, and men. My collection is call "The Shirt off Ma Back" and all of my messaging is 100% percent transferrable from my back to yours. The collection stands apart from most of the quoted/graphic tees that we buy due to the messaging is meant to make a clear statement. Using inspiration from music, politics, humor, motivation, inspiration etc. I know I truly have something for everyone. Check'em out below. Let me know what ya think!
Accent Marq Designs
Ambition, Motivation and Determination at its finest!
Study time!
So I'm back in school part time....
Due to go full time this summer. I'm excited, nervous and overwhelmed all at one time. I'm determined to finish this time. It means the world to me. I'm going for a degree in Business Administration with a concentration on Small Business Management and Entrepeneurship. Yay! I will learn how to successfully run my businesses! Yes, plural. I have one almost up and running and others to follow. Just you wait and see.
I'm trying to figure out a schedule so that life won't be so hectic. However, I'm the queen of breaking schedules. I start out fine and not long after I'm off doing my own thing. Call it the rebel in me. I dispise structure. Lol. Though I'm in great need of it. The only commitment I keep is my sons bedtime. 8:30 come rain or shine! And with daylight savings just taking place trust me, I've already had the "but it still light out" arguement. And I won! Another "Yay" for me! Aside from bedtime I can't remember the last schedule I followed. I even found my way around a daily routine at my last job. Again the rebel in me. I manage to complete all task at hand all while marching to the beat of my own drum.
Well, lately it's starting to leave me more and more scatter brained. Blame it on the A D D! I've got to get it under control. Any suggestions? And yes, this time I'm open! :-) What works for you? I was thinking maybe my son and I could sit down and hash out our homework together. Somehow I doubt we'd get much done though. He fidgets alot and I'm easily distracted. But I'll willing to give it a shot. Kill 2 birds with one stone.
So again, I'm excited about this chapter of my world. I started this adventure some time ago but never saw it through. This time however, the story will have a much happier ending. I'm determined to finish. Even if it kills me. Which I've yet to meet my match so I'm sure I can survive!
Now if I could just get my A D D under control!
Due to go full time this summer. I'm excited, nervous and overwhelmed all at one time. I'm determined to finish this time. It means the world to me. I'm going for a degree in Business Administration with a concentration on Small Business Management and Entrepeneurship. Yay! I will learn how to successfully run my businesses! Yes, plural. I have one almost up and running and others to follow. Just you wait and see.
I'm trying to figure out a schedule so that life won't be so hectic. However, I'm the queen of breaking schedules. I start out fine and not long after I'm off doing my own thing. Call it the rebel in me. I dispise structure. Lol. Though I'm in great need of it. The only commitment I keep is my sons bedtime. 8:30 come rain or shine! And with daylight savings just taking place trust me, I've already had the "but it still light out" arguement. And I won! Another "Yay" for me! Aside from bedtime I can't remember the last schedule I followed. I even found my way around a daily routine at my last job. Again the rebel in me. I manage to complete all task at hand all while marching to the beat of my own drum.
Well, lately it's starting to leave me more and more scatter brained. Blame it on the A D D! I've got to get it under control. Any suggestions? And yes, this time I'm open! :-) What works for you? I was thinking maybe my son and I could sit down and hash out our homework together. Somehow I doubt we'd get much done though. He fidgets alot and I'm easily distracted. But I'll willing to give it a shot. Kill 2 birds with one stone.
So again, I'm excited about this chapter of my world. I started this adventure some time ago but never saw it through. This time however, the story will have a much happier ending. I'm determined to finish. Even if it kills me. Which I've yet to meet my match so I'm sure I can survive!
Now if I could just get my A D D under control!
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